Trying
by Fantastical Queen Ebony Black
Summary: They're always trying to include me, to break my shell. Why can't they realize it's useless...? [2 Raven poems]
1. Trying

I have to admit, I hardly ever watch Teen Titans anymore. And I never knew it had a fan following until around now. The only character I really liked was Raven. I'm getting back into it though! 

Disclaimer: I'm sick. Leave me alone.

**Trying**

She's always smiling.  
She can always laugh, her eyes of light.  
And it makes me burn inside, so I hide my head beneath shadow and forget;  
I make myself forget.

The way things are lost; have been lost,  
and yet she still can dance.  
Sometimes I want to be her friend;  
To give it a chance!  
(though I know I cannot)

Enter Devil's Advocate.

Her hand lingers close beside his,  
and I blind myself.  
He wants to protect, and help her.  
I stay hidden in the frame,  
I cannot interfere.  
The skies pour down black rain.

I used to respect him as a leader,  
I used to accept his advice,  
My mouth drawn in a firm grey line.  
'A smile, Raven, could suffice'  
But lately I can only push you away,  
Away; because there's no other place you can be,  
Not to me.

Not sure when I became aware,  
Not sure when things changed.  
Even closeness as such physical,  
I will not bear it.

To preserve you all,  
I contain.

I watch him smile at her,  
and she smiles at him.  
I try to ignore it, but its hard.

What I want;  
I am not allowed.

It is not my fault;  
It is not my fault!

These thoughts yet to be heard aloud;  
haunting,  
hard to sleep the little I do.  
They will never be heard.

I watch her smile back to him,  
and I walk away,  
with a stroke of midnight blue.

A friend, and a lover,  
The two things I want,  
The two things I can't have,  
The one thing she can't give me...

She can have him for all I care.  
It will save us all someday.

Shades of grey and all inbetween,  
I keep myself hidden,  
So they don't see me,  
I want them to see me though,  
Yeah, maybe I do.

You were right, Star.  
I am lonely;  
But I'm okay (not, not okay)  
Just don't smile at me anymore, okay?  
Tell them all to stop trying.

It was Robin being jealous of Star and Robin. This is just a poem of an idea. I guess you don't really see this in the show. I'm just not really big on Star and Robin. Oh, and I'm not sure if Star ever said anything about Raven being lonely... probably... but if not it was during commercial breaks, when we didn't see. Yeah, that's it.

I have another poem written during french that I'll post... if I get enough reviews...

Review please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please!!!!!


	2. Searching

2. Searching 

This was written the day after Ifirst saw the episode with the dragon guy in the book that tricked Raven. On the back of a french sheet too. Eat that, Mme. Russel! In any case, I am getting back into the series for sure. Note that all grammar and weird stuff in the poem is intentional. This one is sorta BB/Ra

**Disclaimer**:I don't own Teen Titans, but I do own my evil scorpion-bunnies, that tend to eat people that don't review and OOC characters.

So many times: I'm always

searching.

breathing in existence(!)

opening, turning,

creating

my own little space in this world.

i never really

find.

(open)

i clutch lies.

i've (looked) for the shadows,

that come and go.

that give me warmth,

but take it away.

(they go)

my hands become

numb;

fingers unable to

move.

(blind deaf mute girl)

it always turns out,

that whomever gives me this warmth,

is dissembling,

and i have my eyes glued shut,

heart screaming 'stop stop stop!'

i want someone...

(stop, please)

i always have...

(just stop, just stop)

face like stone, unpeaking.

BLIND MUTE DEAF GIRL!!!!

'i'm not creepy, i'm just different.'

...right?

i let go of hope, and yet i'm still

searching.

Was searching for someone (like) you.

You weren't really searching.

-

The saddest thing about that episode... for me anyways... was her hugging Beast Boy at the end. Suddenly, I was weirdly in favour of that relationship. But I know that sometime (earlier, later, whatever) Terra comes in, and I'm a BB/T supporter. Made me sad. Poor Raven.

In any case, Raven needs someone.

Please review! And, if your into Inuyasha, please read my Inu fics and poems!!


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